If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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