hotel room ftw
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize