The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I have feelings that need drinking.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize