We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize