he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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