one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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