Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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