I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Randomize
