oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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