id be glad to
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
