Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize