You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
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