Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
