Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
