Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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