and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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