I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
