his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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