We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
