lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
