you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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