he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Randomize
