i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
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