I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
