I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
