The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
