sarcasm needs its own font
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
