Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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