I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
