I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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