Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
