im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
