So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
