So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just pee around me
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
