the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize