New low: just hacked my moms facebook
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
