I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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