Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Pants are for mortals
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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