i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
do herpes really smell.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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