none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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