living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize