Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
