If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
