i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
