He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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