how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
