White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
