i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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