awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize