First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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