Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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