hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
