I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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