Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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