I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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