It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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