I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So drunk its hurt
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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