I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
