I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize