This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
