Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm drive I can fine osifer
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
