was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
