good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
