and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
