sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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