get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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