May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
