I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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