The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize