East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
