In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
