I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
