You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize