hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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