She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
