Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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