She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
