I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
