i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
