I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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